Harry Potter: The Boy Who Wouldn’t Die

Gotta say I was pretty dang excited when the last Harry Potter movie came out. Not because I can’t get enough wand on wand action, but because I thought that this culmination of the film adaptations would be the end of era of annoying.

I actually liked the series. It tapped into our collective wizard fantasy, it was fun, it had soccer on brooms, come on. It’s an awesome read. I don’t even mind J.K.’s often flaccid prose. But now I sure am sick of the whole Hogwarts saga.

Maybe if we just had the movies and books, I’d still be able to hear the HP music without cringing. But we’ve seen Harry Potter candy, theme parks, video games, wizard rock bands, shirts, undies and all types of other shit. We’re talking high class overexposure.

And just because the movies are done and there are no more books coming out, it doesn’t mean wizard fever is over. I’ve had several friends tell me they are going back and starting all over, reading all seven books again. Again? For some, it will be the eighth or ninth time they’ve dived into these masterpieces. Every reread of HP is time you could have spent reading Blood Meridian. Then again, some people enjoy the comforts of their routine. There is the type of person who ventures out and tries new things, some of which they may not like and there is the type of person who says, “I really like Aerosmith so why would I listen to anything else?”

For me, with just a mention of The Boy Who Lived I get a feeling in my stomach like I get after eating four Snickers. Don’t get me wrong, I will eat the shit out of some Snickers, but a man sometimes needs some prosciutto or some clam chowder.

When I’m at a girl’s place and we’re slipping our shirts off and I see only five books on her bookshelf and they are all Harry Potter, I don’t stop making out with her or anything but I let out an inaudible sigh and enthusiasm leaks out of me like air from an opened soda.

I’m sick of hearing the boy wizard whine, why isn’t everyone else? Think of all the Faulkner novels we could be reading instead. How many Death Wish films are you missing out on because you are watching Prisoner of Azkaban with the commentary? Perhaps we will never tire of HP’s saga. A mere book’s popularity eventually fades, but HP is no mere book. It’s immortal. Or at least it’s literary herpes.

I don’t we will ever escape Mr. Potter’s legacy. We will probably have our grandchildren dressing up like kid wizards and chanting “wingardium leviosa.” Radcliff will be forever linked to HP more than Lou Ferrigno will be to the Hulk and that guy who plays Dexter will be to the Dexter.

J.K. Rowling has tapped into something that is not going away. People love Harry Potter and some love is forever.

Ben Nadith studies literature at UNC Asheville. He writes movie reviews and desperate-sounding emails. He is currently training to become a yoga instructor. Originally from south Florida, he often pines for the ocean.