Top 10 Google Suggestions When You Type in “I Read.”

Google tries, it really does. It wants to help you pinpoint what it is you’re searching for on the internet. The following are the ten suggestions the overeager computer system thinks will be helpful when you type in “I read.”

What the list tells us is that people are reading about ancient Egyptians possibly in Spanish and may not understand what they’re reading.

10. I reader

-Searchers for this term likely think the iPad is called iReader. Understandable mistake. Or perhaps they’re looking for David I. Reader of Orlando. He’s really nice.

9. I read

-Maybe you read and don’t know anyone else who does. You want to find a community proud of the fact that they sometimes open a book. Say it loud!

8. I read in Spanish

-But I use English to search for things on the internet.

7. I read your diary

-Are there websites where you just confess crappy things you did? Well they’re sure to pop up if you enter this in. Also try, “I ate all your cookies.”

6. I read banned books

-Again, be proud. You’re a rebel. You want to see if there are other rebels out there, preferably with pretty faces and minimal neuroses.

5. I ready

-I ready for anything, even shortening already short phrases like “I’m ready” to save time.

4. I read a book past tense

-Curious to why people would type this in, I tried it myself. It seems people are searching for the spelling of the past tense of read. I hope to God they are children.

3. I read because

-I wonder why I do this reading thing. I wonder if someone else has already wondered the same thing. I wonder if they posted a blog entry about it.

2. I read once that the ancient Egyptians

-There are a lot of funny scenarios as to why this phrase is being entered so many times into Google. The truth is the truth is often boring. It’s because of this guy’s quote.

“I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.”
— Brian Andreas, Story People

Awww!

1. I read but I don’t get it

-You generally try to read for school and for understanding how to operate appliances, but you never understand what the heck all those words together mean. Maybe there’s help out there. Maybe other people have advice, stories to share, confessions. Once you’ve found all this great information, you just have to read it.